Very few things move me, especially when it concerns death. Perhaps because sometimes I feel like I’m dead inside. I often feel like Meursault in The Stranger. A life that goes on and must go on. Thankfully, the proverbial sun has not blinded me yet. Perhaps it should.
Anyway, moving on. At school, whenever we enter the premises, we have to show our ID to the security. In this particular building where I attend classes, we had this guy called Will Gary at the security. I did not know his name until recently. I just knew he existed and he smiled every time anyone entered the building and let us know that it was ok for us to enter.
I remember showing him my ID the first time I entered the building when he was behind the security desk. Ever since then, I never had to show my ID again whenever he was behind that desk. He knew he had seen me and never asked my ID ever again.
Sometime this week, there was a new security person and I had to show my ID. And the next day, there was another new security person and I had to show my ID again. I wondered what had happened to Will.
He was always there, chatting with at least 3 or 4 people, always smiling whenever anyone came in through the building. And then suddenly, he was nowhere to be seen. I thought, probably he had just left or something. Then on Thursday, I got an email that a security personnel had died. I didn’t know his name then and didn’t suspect that it was him who had died.
When I went into the building on Wednesday, I noticed a picture of him in the lobby with a book in front of it and people had lined up to sign the book. Only then, did it hit me that he was the security guy who had died.
And therein lies the absurdity. He was healthy, and always happy. I never really bothered to talk to him or actually said hello to him. He would see me and nod and I would continue on.
And now he was gone. For some odd reason, this has been gnawing at my insides, that I felt I had to write about it.
This life is absurd.
Remembering Will Gary.